surviving cancer 101: lesson 5

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She who is centered in the Tao
can go where she wishes, without danger.
She perceives the universal harmony,
even amid great pain,
because she has found peace in her heart.

excerpted from the Tao te Ching, Stephen Mitchell translation

5.  Open your heart. 

Regardless of whether or not you're a believer, never ever turn down a prayer, a hug, an arm squeeze, a donut, any gesture of compassion, empathy, or love from anyone, including, and perhaps especially, perfect strangers.  

I’ve been bald twice and have otherwise looked pretty sick for 4-ish years (until a few months ago).  During this time, I've struck up conversations with countless strangers - at cancer centers, airports, the grocery store, wherever.  I've seen more good in people in the past 4 years than I have in the 43 that preceded it.  It might be because I've looked so vulnerable, and that does seem to bring out the best in a lot of people.  

An overwhelming number of people I've met want to add to me to their prayer list.  I'm not a church-goer, and probably don't have the same beliefs as many of these people, but this doesn't matter to me - or apparently to them - in the least.  I just say thank you, go for it.  I don’t care what religion anyone is - if someone wants to pray for me, send me good chi, hold a good thought, say a Hail Mary, whatever - I accept it all, and I'm grateful for it. I will take whatever people offer, whatever they can spare. 

Our visits to church are basically for weddings and funerals.  This summer, though, we were in France, on a canoeing trip, and I asked my husband, who could probably best be described as a fallen Catholic, to light a candle for me at Notre Dame.  Before you knew it, we were lighting candles at small churches all over France.  Lighting those candles gave me a sense that anything could happen - that it might work.  It was the same feeling that making the connections with strangers has given me - a feeling of being part of something much larger than myself, a feeling of grace.  

I believe that miracles can happen every day, and the more I open myself to that feeling, the better I feel.